jerk chicken rum kitchen portobello boneless

Rum Kitchen – Jerk Bowl

Hall of Slime

There ain’t nothing wrong with a little bit of bone. After all, the art of eating chicken is forever paired with messy hands and slippery bone structures. But sometimes, a man must be lazy, and order a massive (i.e. gigantic) portion of boneless chicken to truly understand the meaning of life.

jerk chicken rum kitchen portobello boneless

And yes, my life is THAT simple. It can be explained with a big bowl of jerk chicken, like Rum Kitchen’s massive culinary feast, the Jerk Bowl. Comes in 3 and 5 piece (guess which one I ordered), and with the usual caribbean trimmings of rice & peas, slaw, and… errr…watermelon and pineapple? (not the only place with a watermelon fetish)

jerk chicken rum kitchen portobello boneless

No need to go into how big this bowl actually is, or even if it is intended for one person (it isn’t only a madman like yours truly would eat this on his own). But it sure is delightful. Also quite spicy. Like good jerk should be. But more importantly, the chicken is delicious, tender and oh so easy to eat. Pair it with some groovy rum cocktails, and it’s gonna be a breezy night out.

Life is good when one is lazy. Life is good with chicken at hand. Chicken and laziness. That is life in a nutshell.


Slimy? No bones means less slime. Still, slimy as f***

Satisfying? I’m still full two weeks after having this jerky bowl.


Rum Kitchen
6-8 All Saints Road, London W11 1HH

Benito's Hat - Grilled Steak Burrito Mexican Food Fast Food

Benito’s Hat – Grilled Steak Burrito

Hall of Slime

Aluminum foil. That ever important piece of clothing for comfort food around the globe. At first sight of someone holding something covered on it, we know the contents already. It has to be something warm. Something portable. Something delicious.

Benito's Hat - Grilled Steak Burrito Mexican Food Fast Food

Miss Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?

Burritos always come this way, pretty much anywhere you go. But it takes skill to roll burritos as large as the ones rolled at Benito’s Hat. Going for the large one makes for a massive trip to good old Mexico, and if you go with the Grilled Steak option, and add some of that hot salsa, and the always important guacamole (avocados make the world go round!) your hunger will be more than satisfied.

Benito's Hat - Grilled Steak Burrito Mexican Food Fast Food

So much beauty in such a compact space

As you slowly undress the foil off of this beautiful Mexican treat, all sorts of feelings will rush through your body. And all sorts of sauces will run through your face. What a delightful romance.


Slimy? It’s a burrito. If it doesn’t drip, it’s not a real burrito.

Satisfying? Big and hot, you’ll enjoy undressing this beauty…


Benito’s Hat
390 Kingsland Rd, London E8 2AA

Meat Liquour – Green Chili Cheeseburger

Burgertown, Uncategorized

My last visit to MEATliquour (trust me, I’ve been many times before), at their newest London branch in Islington, went a bit like this: go in, look at the burger menu, ponder for a bit, pretend I’m a macho man and order the Green Chili Cheeseburger thinking how spicy can it possibly be, drink a beer, chat a little, see a beautiful tray with burgers and some Hippie Fries, have some fries, think those are some damn good fries but I’m here for the burger, grab the sleazy greasy and nasty burger, take a bite, this is great, tastes delicious, go in for another bite, chili kicks in and OH MY LORD THIS IS INSANELY SPICY BUT IT’S SO GOOD I WANT ANOTHER BITE, so I go for another bite, chili kicks in again THIS IS PURE PAIN I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE, but I can since it’s absolutely magnificent…

So spicy you'll see double... Meat Liquour - Green Chili Cheeseburger Spicy Burger

So spicy you’ll see double…

So goes the tale. Rinse and repeat until there’s no burger left, and two or three beers have passed, helping you withstand the fieriness of this burger cooked in the very pits of hell. It has all the classic ingredients: lettuce, cheese, pickles, mustard, but it’s the spicy chilli butter that puts this burger in a different level. A very, very spicy level.

So try if you must, and feel brave enough. Just make sure you have some Hippie Fries (with magical hippie sauce) next to it to counter the hotness. You’ll thank me later. If you survive…


Slimy? Messy as they come, you wont even have time to worry about the mess you’re making when the chili comes for you

Satisfying? Holy crap this is spicy! But it tastes so good that you’ll be going like “bring on the painnnnn”


MEATliquor N1
133b Upper Street, London N1 1QP (and other locations in London)


DF / Mexico – Grilled Chicken Tacos


Mexico City (or D.F., i.e. Distrito Federal for the cool people) is one strange place. On the one hand is insanely overpopulated, and also one of the most polluted cities in the world. But like all of Mexico, none of it matters when it comes to the food.

DF / Mexico tries to bring this gritty, urban landscape of Mexico to another insanely overpopulated, but certainly not as polluted city called London. And with it come new spins and takes on classic mexican fare. For me, it’s always about the tacos. And the burritos. But this article is about the tacos. So shut up, burritos. You’ll get your chance some other time.

2015-11-01 DF Mexico - Chicken Tacos

Not one but TWO TACOS. Who said Taco Tuesdays?

First thing that impresses is how big these things are. I’ve gotten used to smaller, market tacos. This things were big and wholesome, and heavily stuffed. The Grilled Chicken tacos had some fancy habanero sauce and salsa, and they were as fun to hold as they were delicious. And just the right amount of spicy, since as we all know, Mexicans are masochists when it comes to food heat levels. Plus I bought chips, which, while not very mexican, they came with mexican inspired dips.

Add a very spacious setting, cool vibes and a very central location, and all I can say is arriba arriba! Viva Mexico cabrones!

Slimy? That habanero sauce will stick to your fingers and make them burn (not really)

Satisfying? Ayayay! A huevo! (Translation: awesome)


DF / Mexico
28-29 Tottenham Court Rd, London W1T 1BL

Breddos Tacos – Buttermilk Fried Chicken and Baja Fish Tacos


Mexican food is confusing. It’s hard to know the difference between tacos, fajitas, burritos, enchiladas. Aren’t they all the same? Does it really matter?

We know they all have some sort of tortilla. They are usually spicy. Sometimes really spicy. But honestly, when I order tacos, I’m seriously never quite sure what I’m going to get. Like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates. Only with tacos, not chocolates.

So when I approached Breddos Tacos at Dinerama (admittedly with a few drinks in), I had no idea what to expect. But I ordered anyways, knowing that the only bad thing that could happen when eating mexican food would happen the next day anyways. And so, I received both a Buttermilk Fried Chicken Taco and a Baja Fish one.

Left or right? Why not BOTH. Breddos Tacos - Buttermilk Fried Chicken and Baja Fish Tacos

Left or right? Why not BOTH

As tiny as they were, these things were great. Expertly cooked fish and chicken, coupled with some mystery sauces (mystery as in there’s no way I could remember the ingredients), both tacos were the quick food jolt I required at that moment in time. Plus, you can finish each in two bites, making you feel like a devouring champion.

Is this what you get in Mexico when you order tacos? Absolutely not. But that’s the point. Leave it to London to take tacos, add weird and certainly non mexican ingredients, and make something even better. Or at least something delicious.

Slimy? They are tacos. Things will get messy wether you want it or not.

Satisfying? Tiny but delicious! A little mexican treat. Arriba arriba!


Breddos Tacos
(Check website/Twitter for current location)

Pizzeria Apollo – Diavola

Pizzburgh, Uncategorized

Diavolo. El Diablo. The Devil. Satan. Belzebub. Mother in law. Many names, for the same, demonic being. One needs all the help you can get in order to fend off its charms. It’s spicy, spicy charms. You’ve seen it in menus before. In pizzas all over the world. Diavolo has always been a word for caution. Try if you dare. That kind of scary warning is not for the faint of heart.

What is one to do? I guess you could do much worse than enlisting the help of Apollo, the God of (according to Wikipedia, I sure didn’t know this) “music, truth and prophecy, healing, the sun and light, plague, poetry, and more”. And that’s where Pizzeria Apollo comes in, by crafting a deliciously devilish take on the classic Diavola recipe, which is indeed very, very spicy, but also so deliciously baked that you won’t care too much.

They might be hidden, but trust me, loads of chilli in there! Pizzeria Apollo - Diavola

They might be hidden, but trust me, loads of chilli in there!

A recent newcomer to the Hackney foodie scene, Pizzeria Apollo comes thundering down from Olympus with the thinnest crust you can possibly imagine, and some very strong and flavorful ingredients (spicy sausage, mozzarella and some evil, EVIL chilli), make for some damn fine Italian cuisine.

So next time you’re in Hackney, hankering for some spicy Italian times, head to Apollo for some fiery good ones.

Slimy? Or, should I say, Spicy? Yes, very spicy! Also very slimy. But yes, spicy indeed.

Satisfying? Worthy of Zeus, Poseidon, Hades… the whole gang.


Pizzeria Apollo
160 Stoke Newington High Street, London N16 7JL