Bayrische Schlachtplatte – Stein’s

Hall of Slime

Back to Stein’s for a second round (following last year’s schnitzel), I followed the rule of sequels: must be bigger, badder and more expensive. All of which their bavarian sharing platter for two easily fulfills.

Served with enough sausages to build your own sausage train, and an literal mountain of potato mash and sauerkraut (one can never have enough sauerkraut), the Bayrische Schlachtplatte is Bavarian excess at its best. Or worst. Or… WURST.

I’m so sorry about that. I know it’s early in the year and you did not need to read such a terrible pun. Please forgive me. Or at least take my advice, call a hungry friend, meet at Stein’s in Kingston and order this smorgasbord of deliciousness.


Slimy? Just look at it and tell me you don’t instantly feel like taking a shower

Satisfying? It’s so much food and so good, you’ll forgive any puns I have made or will make in perpetuity.



56 High Street, Kingston upon Thames, KT1 1HN


Stein’s – Schnitzel vom Schwein mit

Hall of Slime

Oktoberfest is one crazy experience. I’ve been lucky enough to have been and lived to tell the tale. It’s possibly too intense for any human to handle, and it’s certainly a once in a lifetime experience. Go twice, and you’ll risk every single organ in your body.


Which is why it’s great to have a close enough place like Stein’s in Kingston. Mixing the best of Bavarian cuisine with a lovely riverside location, this is the place to go for big beers and big food. And what could be more Bavarian than a schnitzel?


Order the Schnitzel vom Schwein mit and you’ll get a humongous piece of breaded pork, a heap of potato salad and some more salad. It’s as delicious and German as it sounds. And for the brave, you can certainly match it with a 1lt stein of Paulaner.


It’s a sublimely traditional place, but with a very happy vibe, and it reminds me of the parts of Oktoberfest I actually remember. The ones I don’t… well… those are probably best forgotten.

Slimy? Just look at the size! Massive!

Satisfying? Das ist gut!

56 High Street, Kingston upon Thames, KT1 1HN

Herman ze German – ze Wilde Bock Roll


Das Currywurst! Das Currywurst! I first tried the famous currywurst (i.e. sausage with curry sauce for the uninitiated) back on a trip to Oktoberfest. Nobody should really go to Oktoberfest, as it is a particularly unhealthy occasion, but if you’re going (you probably are going, aren’t you? Don’t say I didn’t warn you…), other than beer you can always get traditional German delicacies. And nothing screams Germany like a big saucy sausage.

Suffice it to say, I barely remember anything that happened during that week of debauchery back in 2009. So I had to reacquaint myself with big old sausages. And that’s where Herman ze German (winner of the 2014 Best New Shop Name Awards) excels: in big, massive sausage rolls. From a pretty big list to choose, which includes German beer and even (sigh) salads, I went with one of the specials, ze Wilde Bock Roll (winner of the 2014 Best New Dish Name Awards).

SAUCEsage? Herman ze German - ze Wilde Bock Roll German Wurst


I got served a delicious hot dog style sandwich including a bockwurst with onions, mayo and, of course, currysauce in different spicyness levels (I went with Hot, the least spicy one, because I’m a little girl), all served on a mountain of pommes frites (i.e. french fries for the non posh). Massive in scope, massive in flavour, massive in messiness.

And all of a sudden, all my Oktoberfest memories came back to me. The random strangers I shared liters of beer with. The sneaking around to get into private beer tents. The nonsensical cheering while singing German tunes every 5 minutes. The supposed vomit I left on my hosts bathroom floor (I still maintain that wasn’t me). The delicious flavour of a good german sausage.

This is what Herman ze German has done. It has made me want to go back. Back to the eye of the beast. Back to Oktoberfest. I may not survive this time, but hey, more currywurst? Totally worth it.

Slimy? Das sauce! Das sauce EVERYWHERE! Mein got, das sauce!
Satisfying? Brings all that’s good about German food, in a small, delicious and messy package. Das very gud!
Herman ze German
33 Old Compton St, Greater London, W1D 5JU (and other locations)