Tramshed – House Farm Chicken

Hall of Slime

Nando’s ain’t the only place you can get a full chicken at. And it’s certainly not the coolest. And it certainly doesn’t have a cow in formaldehyde floating above the dining hall.

At Tramshed, one of HIX’s several restaurants across the capital, you can get your fix of inordinate amounts of chicken, with a presentation that’s as savoury as it is filthy. Kind of what we’re all about here anyways.

Once this perfectly cooked bird arrives to your table, complete with succulent stuffing and a hearthy dose of chips, you’ll never go back to ordering ¼ or ½ chicken ever again. Full chicken is the way to go, regardless of how many people you’re sharing with.

Slimy? Straight from the oven to your table, this thing is shinyyyyyy

Satisfying? Tastes as good as roasted chicken can possibly taste


32 Rivington St, London, EC2A 3LX

Monty’s Deli – Meshuggener

Hall of Slime

How quickly they grow up… From the humble beginnings of what looked like a hangar by Maltby St Market, I’ve seen Monty’s Deli grow from ‘the little Deli that could’ to a full blown restaurant in Dalston. Not my first of their sandwiches, you see.

But has the move to hipster-London damaged it’s succulent, ridiculously massive meals of ginormous proportions? Not in the least. If anything, these sandwiches have gotten bigger and better.

Case in point, the Meshuggener: a smorgasbord consisting of salt beef, pastrami AND chopped liver. Yes, the three-meat trifecta. With the usual coleslaw and rye bread to boot. Boom. Nothing can prepare you for this tower of a sandwich. Which makes sense, since meshuggener means crazy in the old language of Yiddish.

All in nicer surroundings and blah blah. But who cares really. This is all about being a delicious Deli. And in that, Monty’s Deli is still London’s Deli king.


Slimy? Three meats with some measly rye bread to hold it? Good luck with that.

Satisfying? Like eating 7 meals in one. Try counting the calories of this monster.


Monty’s Deli
227-229 Hoxton St, London N1 5LG

cookie dough naked dough oreo london

Naked Dough – Flavoured Dough

Hall of Slime

This place, Naked Dough, sells cookie dough. That’s it. How was this not a thing before, I’m not entirely sure. It’s always been clear that cookie dough is the best. From being Ben n Jerry’s best ice cream flavour (I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise) to turning into magnificent cookies, cookie dough is just wonderful.

cookie dough naked dough oreo london

So along comes Naked Dough, a place that looks like an ice cream shop, feels like an ice cream shop, but has no ice cream. Just different flavours of cookie dough. At first it’s strange since one expects this to be cold. It isn’t. Again, this isn’t ice cream: it’s cookie dough. Then one expects it to go down easy. But how can it possibly go down easy if this is as gooey and sugary as anything you’ll ever have.

cookie dough naked dough oreo london

Which is not to say this is not delicious. It is. Fantastically so. Just be warned: a taste of this and you’ll understand what thickness means in a dessert. So go ahead: get some dough. Just be sure to share it, you won’t be able to finish a tub (I couldn’t, shame on me…).


Slimy? Uncooked cookie dough. So yeah. Very icky stuff.

Satisfying? It packs a punch, but cookie dough parlours are a thing now. What a glorious time to be alive.


Naked Dough
Old Street Underground, London EC1Y 1BE

pizza L'Antica Pizzeria da Michele margherita

L’Antica Pizzeria da Michele – Pizza Margherita


How can the hype be any higher? There’s enough places that claim to be “the best” in the food world, that it seems ridiculous to seriously claim to be the greatest at any particular dish. I’ve seen at least three shops called The Best Kebab in London, and can guarantee (after… maybe having tried them as well) that they do not offer the best kebabs at all (one could claim kebabs aren’t meant to be good to begin with).

So along comes L’Antica Pizzeria da Michele, which doesn’t really claim to be the best pizza in the world, but it’s fans sure seem to scream so. Famously located in Naples, and apparently made famous by a book (and a sure to be terrible Julia Roberts film) called Eat Pray Love, this offshoot of the original opened in London a few months back, and people won’t stop yammering about it.

After countless times seeing a ginormous queue by it’s door, I decided to give it a go and see how good their pizza could actually be. Hype is one thing, but I’ve had many pizzas, and can claim I know my shit when it comes to cheesy dough. But hype be damned, the Pizza Margherita with Double Mozarella is just wonderful. A huge smorgasbord of springy dough and so much cheese you can tell the Double in Double Mozarella is not a ripoff, this thing was created by Pizza Gods, and as such, it’s worth waiting along the hipsters queuing.

Hype is one thing. Great pizza trumps hype. Such rules govern life.


Slimy? Try to eat with your hands. I double dare you.

Satisfying? A remarkable achievement in pizza making. Believe the hype.


L’Antica Pizzeria da Michele
125 Stoke Newington Church St, London N16 0UH

fried chicken Chick 'n' Sours House Fry haggerston

Chick ‘n’ Sours – House Fry

Hall of Slime

It’s like in The Godfather: once you’re out, they pull you back in. That’s how and why I end up coming back to a place. Because when after the first time it was such a ridiculous attack on the culinary senses, I just had to try what else this palace to all that is chicken and fried had to offer. At least I was cool enough to go before they expanded to Soho.

fried chicken Chick 'n' Sours House Fry haggerston

And back here we are, again at Chick ‘n’ Sours. This time not for the crazy, coma inducing burgers, but for their signature dish, the House Fry. Which, incidentally, is also very much crazy and coma inducing. Two massive, expertly fried pieces of tender and still moist chicken, accompanied with watermelon slices (yes, I didn’t understand the fruit either, but… it kind of works?). The crunchiness and texture of the fried chicken skin is unparalleled, and will make you instantly regret every single visit to every chicken shop EVER. Which is expected, I guess, when they actually sell pieces of skin as appetizers. Go figure.

fried chicken Chick 'n' Sours House Fry haggerston

Can I give any more praise than being a repeat costumer? Yes. I could be a threepeat costumer. Guess I’ll have to come back for the Whole Fry Sunday


Slimy? Go on. Get dirty. Use your hands. The fork will just slow you down. And do eat ALL the skin. It’s allowed and endorsed.

Satisfying? So good even the Chicken Connoisseur would approve.


Chick ‘n’ Sours
390 Kingsland Rd, London, E8 2AA

vietnamese food bún pork meaballs kingsland road east london

BúnBúnBún – Hanoi Bún

Hall of Slime

Take one step onto Kingsland Road in London’s East End. One step. It’s all it takes. Count the number of Vietnamese restaurants you’ve seen so far. If the number is less than 37, then you’re clearly in the wrong Kingsland Road (you poor, lost soul. There’s this thing called Google Maps, you know?). In fact, there’s so many similar looking shops, that you’d be forgiven to think it’s some part of chain restaurant experiment where all shops in the street have the same owner.

vietnamese food bún pork meaballs kingsland road east london

So it comes down to the food on each one to stand out and make a difference. Which is where BúnBúnBún comes into play. A Bún is basically a soup with noodles and some beef. Simple. And it’s this place specialty. And if you’re going to repeat your specialty three times in the title, it better be good.

vietnamese food bún pork meaballs kingsland road east london

And it is. It’s also very strange. Their signature dish, Hanoi Bún, whose soup comes with lemongrass pork and pork patties, is plain bizarre. It also comes with loads of salads and toppings that, as I was told, you’re meant to “dunk” into the soup. And so I did. Boy it was good. And ohhh boy it was messy.

vietnamese food bún pork meaballs kingsland road east london

But in the spirit of this blog, the messier, the better. If I leave a restaurant with stains on my shirt, then I consider that bonus points. And after dunking over and over, my shirt pretty much changed colour. No clue if the other joints in Kingsland Road offer something quite as delicious and unique. But if they do, then I better get some new, non-white clothing and try them all!


Slimy? Incredibly so. Maybe it’s me, but eating soup with chopsticks just isn’t natural

Satisfying? So tasty and interesting it more than makes up for the mess you’re bound to leave on the table!


134B Kingsland Rd, London E2 8DY

Shippo - Oyako Don rice donburi japanese market food east london brick lane

Shippo – Oyako Don

Hall of Slime

All aboard! All aboard the Shippo! Direct route to Japan!

The sheer amount of different stalls at the Sunday Up-Market in Brick Lane is outstanding. Pretty much every cuisine you can imagine is somehow represented, and it’s an attack on the senses worthy of a Moroccan market.

Shippo - Oyako Don rice donburi japanese market food east london brick lane

Tight! One move and it’ll expolode

But Shippo is different. From the bizarre menu (I had never heard of any of the dishes before), to the fresh cooked food in front of your very eyes (no “hours cooked” noodles here), it’s not hard to understand why it stands out.

Shippo - Oyako Don rice donburi japanese market food east london brick lane

Looks even yummier when you dig in

I ordered the Oyako Don. It’s one of those times when you order and have no clue what the meal will look like. Marinated chicken mixed with omelette, seaweed and onions, all over a bed of rice, make for one strange looking box. But a very satisfying box at that.

Shippo - Oyako Don rice donburi japanese market food east london brick lane

Sticky means easy for chopsticks

So come aboard. The Shippo is about to embark! The destination? Doesn’t matter. It’s the journey that does. And this is one delicious journey.


Slimy? This mixture of japanese delight sticks together like glue. Handy for chopsticks.

Satisfying? An oriental delight, and also a fairly hearty one. You won’t starve on this journey.


Sunday Upmarket (at Truman Brewery)

Hungry Donkey - Plate Me Up Chicken east london souvlaki greek tzatziki

Hungry Donkey – Plate Me Up Chicken

Hall of Slime

Greece has seen better days. Post olympics fallouts, economic downturns. Certainly not the greatest century in Greek history. But what is Greece to do we do when things go wrong?

Simple. Food. Lots and lots of food. When things go wrong, we resort to food. And when it comes to delicious food in big sizes, few can do it like the Greek. And so it happens that Hungry Donkey, taking pride in its name, serves some succulent and massive dishes of Greek inspired cuisine right in East London.

Hungry Donkey - Plate Me Up Chicken east london souvlaki greek tzatziki

Bird’s eye view of a… bird

The Plate Me Up Chicken is a Souvlaki style roasted bird, and comes with great chips, cherry tomatoes (you know, for health and stuff) and some glorious tzatziki. Mix it together, have it separate. It doesn’t matter. This is great anyway you want it, and if you’re Greek, it’ll make you forget the bad years and look ahead for the good ones. And if you’re not Greek, it will make you wish you were.

Hungry Donkey - Plate Me Up Chicken east london souvlaki greek tzatziki

The Greeks do quantity AND quality!

Not hungry anymore, I left Hungry Donkey as just a regular donkey. Which is exactly the kind of donkey I want to be.


Slimy? If only there were enough tzatziki to just cover the whole dish!

Satisfying? If you’re hungry after this, then you’re one strange donkey.


Hungry Donkey
56 Wentworth St, London E1 7AL

Well Street Kitchen - The Brunch Tower poached eggs avocado roasted tomatoes feta london brunch

Well Street Kitchen – The Brunch Tower

Hall of Slime

Disclaimer: this dish is NOT called “The Brunch Tower”. That’s a creative liberty I took, since the name on the menu, “Smashed avocado, poached eggs, herbed feta & roasted tomato served with sourdough toast” doesn’t appeal to the internet masses, and doesn’t have the same ring to it. So don’t ask for a Brunch Tower at the restaurant. They might think you’re mad. Or at least delusional.

Well Street Kitchen - The Brunch Tower poached eggs avocado roasted tomatoes feta london brunch

An architectural masterpiece

With that out of the way, let’s talk about how awesome Well Street Kitchen is. I had to wait quite a bit to get a seat, but that allowed me to see all dishes in the menu come out of the kitchen. And suddenly, a waitress comes out with this monster of a brunch, which just screamed at me as if I was the chosen one. “You must face the tower. The Brunch Tower”.

Well Street Kitchen - The Brunch Tower poached eggs avocado roasted tomatoes feta london brunch

And so it crumbles…

What choice did I have? This smorgasbord of healthy goodness was staring right at me, in all its easy to topple gooeyness. Perfectly poached eggs, enough avocado to feed all of Mexico for a year, huge roasted tomatoes and cheesy feta… all on top of some well hidden pieces of toast. Big. Huge. Tasty. Healthy. BHTH.

Well Street Kitchen - The Brunch Tower poached eggs avocado roasted tomatoes feta london brunch

Ooze away, you beautiful thing

Can you go big and healthy? You can. And you will. The tower commands it.


Slimy? I really tried to keep it steady, but this tower will topple almost instantly. And that’s how it should be.

Satisfying? It takes a great thing for me to approve a veggie dish. This tower is that good.


Well Street Kitchen
203 Well St, London E9 6QU

Beigel Bake – Cheesecake


Brick Lane is famous for two things: below average Indian restaurants (and it’s super annoying but “authentic” waiters trying to get you to enter them) and its two competing, 24-7 bagel shops.

But this isn’t about bagels. As delicious as that New York staple is, this is about that OTHER delicious and equally famous North American staple: the Cheesecake. For far too long have I tried and failed in my search of a good cheesecake in London. Not cheesy enough, not thick enough, o just a plain excuse of a cake that doesn’t deserve to have the word cheese on its name.

And then last Friday someone told me I should try the cheesecakes they sell at Beigel Bake (the one with the white sign). I knew they sold stuff other than bagels, but I thought it was just a marketing ploy to get people in. It never crossed my mind to purchase anything other than a salt beef bagel (which deserves its own, separate, future post).

How can something so tiny be so intense? Beigel Bake - Cheesecake

How can something so tiny be so intense?

So I went, queued up (crazy long queue! People just can’t get enough bagels), and got myself a very tiny and very cheap (at £0.70 a piece) slice of creamy goodness. And it was good. Very good in fact. Surprisingly excellent.

While not quite New York Style (it would need some strawberries and also be huge for that), it still has that special thickness so characteristic of the cakes from the Big Apple. It might be small, but it packs a punch, and it brought me back to my last US cheesecake experience. Oh, the memories.

Next time you go to fill your bagel needs at 3am on a Saturday, remember, there is more to bagels on a bagel shop. Get a slice of cheesy cheesiness, and go on your merry drunken way home.

Slimy? It does have cheese on its name, but it’s so tightly compressed that the only way this could fall apart is if you sat on it.

Satisfying? The search for the perfect NY Style Cheesecake continues, but this’ll o for now!


Beigel Bake
159 Brick Ln, London E1 6SB