Before all the British readers out there start screaming “sacrilege!” when somebody messes with the all time classic fish and chips, just remember: innovation is what keeps the world moving. And stomachs growing.
So yes. In some circles, it might be considered “wrong” and possibly even “evil” to think of something as outrageous as serving a Fish & Chips where the fish was, wait for it, fried in Tempura. Yep, that classical Japanese way of frying various items comes to your tried and true fish and chips. And what can I say? The results may surprise you. It certainly surprised my palate.
At Hook, they offer to fry your fish not only in Tempura, but in Panko as well. Guess I’ll have to come back and try that one. But for now, this delightful catch of the day, aided by delicious and copious amounts of chips and, in this case, some crazy spicy Piri Piri sauce, is enough to justify any and all ruckus, and to convince anyone, including the most hardcore, that as long as it’s fried, it’s still very much fish and chips.
Slimy? It’s fried, massive and resting in a bed of chips. It’s as oily as it gets.
Satisfying? A nice little change to your usual British standard cuisine.
63-65 Parkway, London NW1 7PP
There’s something glamorous about food served on a tray. As in, directly ON the tray. This is both an ecological and entertaining way to eat, and it gives you significantly more real estate to spread your filth and sauces. Who needs plates anyways?
Not me, for sure. Specially when it’s all about getting down and dirty, and nothing screams dirty as some good, old fashioned American BBQ. Which is exactly what Bodean’s excels at. Don’t be fooled by the sudden appearance of Bodean’s shops everywhere. These guys really do know their meat from their pork, their BBQ sauce from their, ehm, spicy BBQ sauce. And they can make a mean meal.
And with a diverse menu of sticky delicacies, how could I possibly choose between Burnt Ends and Pulled Pork? Why can’t I have both? Wait. I can? Seriously? Good lord in heaven! This is one happy day! Add in some coleslaw and bountiful chips, and I’m sold.
Slimy? No matter how sticky it already comes, you’re going to douze it in more BBQ sauce anyways
Satisfying? A good BBQ is a good BBQ. This is an excellent one.
10 Poland St, London W1F 8PZ
Fulfilling the old adage that “everything goes better with cheese”, the super fancy Duck Fat Chips from the super trendy The Frenchie Bistro in the super cool container park at The Artworks Elephant in Elephant and Castle sure are a super treat.
Frying chips is an art. Frying them in duck fat is nothing short of a masterpiece. That would be enough, but covering them with cheese would surely add to the experience, right? What if that cheese wasn’t ordinary cheese, but sumptuous Raclette cheese, melting around the already delicious chips?
Well, that’s what you’re getting here. Simple. Genius. Cheesy. Delicious. Try to go back to regular chips after this. I dare you.
Slimy? Yes, you read duck fat and cheese in the same sentence. Very nasty, very yummy
Satisfying? How can I ever go back to regular chips? Only by being drunk I suppose…
The Frenchie Bistro
The Artworks Elephant, Unit 8, Elephant Rd, London SE17 1AY
Best thing about Belgium? Some people say it’s their beers. I personally will always remember those massive paper cones filled with huge chips and glazed with all manner of crazy sauces.
Cheese hasn’t melted yet. It will.
While there’s no mention of Belgian influence on Poptata‘s plucky Portobello Road stall, it brought me memories so vivid, and so filthy (in a good way, of course), that I had to put it in words.
Cheese hanging in there…
Choose size of the cone, the type of garnish, and voilà. Simple and yummy. I chose the Medium Fries with Portobello topping, which has some cheddar, and a special sauce with onion and mustard. It was big, messy and oh so very good.
Cheese is gone…
So good, in fact, that you’re better off skipping the sure to be horrible Ryanair flight to Belgium, and just head to Poptata. Your belly will thank you. Your shirt, will not. As you will get messy.
Slimy? I got at least three spots of sauce of my shirt. Probably won’t come out. Still totally worth it.
Satisfying? Taking chips and sauce to the next level!
At Portobello Market from Friday to Sunday (check website for other days)
Nando’s has this strange stigma. For some reason, a lot of people hate it. Or at least pretend to hate it. Maybe it’s because it’s everywhere. Maybe it’s because they don’t like chicken. But it’s a cause for concern.
Isn’t this the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen?
Why is it worrying? Because Nando’s is, in fact, great. It really is! By focusing on chicken, and solely on chicken (at least on their main dishes), they churn out some deliciously roasted birds with surprising, even scary efficiency. No wonder they’re everywhere!
Take this beautiful specimen, their full chicken, done Peri Peri style, and glossed over with their mango spice (spicy enough for me, thank you). Go on and tell me it doesn’t look gorgeous. And with a battalion of crazy peri peri sauces to choose from, which also go great with their peri salted chips, there’s no way to get tired of it.
Draw me like one of your French birds…
So screw you, Nando-haters. I, for one, love Nando’s. And I strongly believe Nando’s loves me. That’s why there’s been a Nando’s a block away from every single flat I’ve lived in London. And that’s six different flats if we’re counting…
Slimy? You must finish any chicken with your hands. So have napkins at the ready: this will end badly.
Satisfying? If there was a prize for “most underappreciated chain”, Nando’s would get it. It’s just damn good chicken.
Everywhere in London (though this one was at their North Greenwich branch at the O2)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest fight of the century, for the Slimy Yet Satisfying Heavyweight Championship (emphasis on the heavy… I’m certainly adding some kilos). On the red corner, we have Honest Burgers, with their always delicious beef and incredible chips. On the blue corner, we have The Rib Man’s perfect and delicate pork rib-meat and the (spicy as the depths of hell) Holy F**k sauce. It’s gonna be one hell of a fight, so let’s see who wins when…
Is it weird that I think this looks cute?
Hey, what are you guys doing? You’re hugging? Awwwww. So no fighting then? Just a very tender, perfectly match hug? It’s a match made in heaven! Two of the best brands in London food (and I should know, there’s previous articles for both on this blog) get together to create this insanely delicious burger, which will make you wonder why don’t they just go ahead and merge brands, so this doesn’t remain a one-off and is added to the menu FOREVER.
Enough said, get it while supplies last. Otherwise, I guess you can always smuggle some ribs to Honest when they change the special…
Slimy? Never seen my hands shine as much as they did after this delicious monstrosity.
Satisfying?.And the winner is… ME.
4 Meard St, London W1F 0EF (and all over the UK)
The Cheeseburger. A classic. So many other options on a menu but I keep coming back to simpler times. Times where a good slice of cheese was the only thing that mattered on a burger, and not jalapeño pesto or crab meat infusions and whatever they are adding to burgers in hipster-town nowadays.
Sometimes all a burger needs is a perfectly cooked meat and a good slice of american cheese. And that’s pretty much what you get when you order the B&B Cheeseburger at Bun & Bar. Well, that and a ginormous mountain of chips. Very good chips at that. But enough about the chips. The very, very addictive chips. Damn those chips!
And the burger stood upon its chips kingdom…
The burger comes also with ketchup and smokey mayo, but it’s such a simple choice that it all rests on the meat and the cheese. And it tasted good. Not only that, but it held very well, with very little falling on the side, making for a non messy (yet still messy, it is a burger after all) experience. Couple that with a cool place and a good beer selection, and you got a winner in burger land.
Also, did I mention the chips? Cause man, those chips are like, unrealistically addictive. So addictive, in fact, that I almost made this post about the chips.
Slimy? Just the perfect amount of slimyness. I still had to wash my hands afterwards, though, which is a good sign in any burger.
Satisfying? Deliciously crafted and very simple burger. Also, chips. VERY good chips.
Bun & Bar
553 Green Lanes, N8 0RL London
Ahhh, poutine. That most delicious of Canadian delicacies. Canada is all about three things: unlimited kindness, hockey and poutine.
For the uninitiated, poutine is basically chips, smothered in gravy, and topped off with cheese curd, creating a mixture only mad scientists could conceive. Stacks have been doing poutine for quite a while, and their spin is adding even more ingredients to an already disgusting sounding dish. This one in particular has added cole slaw and pulled pork. Because why the hell not.
Trust me. There’s chips below all that mess.
And it kind of makes you wonder: why do chips get served in any other way? There’s no reasonable explanation as to why something as gross and utterly horrendous can taste so delicious. Canadians are nice and all, but this meal is even nicer. You’ll be thanking everyone for a week after you’ve tried this. You’ll also be thanking for the invention of toilet paper, but that’s a reasonable sacrifice.
Slimy? The fork in that picture? Useless. You’ll be messier than the time you tried eating spaghetti with your bare hands. Stock on extra napkins. Maybe a toilet roll.
Satisfying? My dad used to say everything mixes in our stomach to get me to eat things I didn’t like. This is like that, only it comes premixed, and me liking all the ingredients. I guess it’s nothing like that then…
Stacks Poutine @ Birthdays
33-35 Stoke Newington Road, London N16 8BJ